


I'm Going To.

by getyourfaceoutofmyface



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Alternate Universe, Love at First Sight, M/M, Mechanic Aaron, References to Depression, Strangers to Lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-02
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2019-06-20 11:58:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15533739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/getyourfaceoutofmyface/pseuds/getyourfaceoutofmyface
Summary: Aaron Dingle doesn't run away from anything thank you very much. Unless you're Robert Sugden, and all that he's offering.(More on the Mature side but Explicit tag just to be safe)





	I'm Going To.

Aaron didn’t believe in love. No. Correction. Aaron didn’t believe that love was for him. He’s not cynical, he’s a realist. The glass has liquid in it, who gives a shit how much. It’s not about feeling sorry for himself or feeling unworthy. It’s just not something for him, it wasn’t how the world worked.

Some people are inclined to athletic endeavours. Some people have intelligence that leads to the solving of the world's problems. Some people, maybe even most people, are meant to fall in love.

Aaron wasn’t one of them. Full stop.

That was why he was the only one in the garage on Valentine’s afternoon. Everyone knew grumpy, gruff and gay Aaron didn’t have plans so they volunteered him to work the early evening shift alone. He didn’t mind if he was honest with himself. Adam was busy with Vic. His Mom with someone she was being secretive about. He figured he’d close up, have a quick shower back at his apartment and go out alone on the pull.

Saint Valentine made the lonely lonelier and therefore a touch more inclined for a one nighter. It’d been a few months and there was an itch he needed to scratch.

With 15 minutes left in his shift and freedom on the horizon he started ripping down the garish heart garlands Debbie had hung up everywhere. Like they were some kind of nursery school and not a bunch of meatheads who got their hands oily for a living.

Love, it made people ridiculous.

He was stuffing the sparkly hearts into a garbage bag when he felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.

“Mate please tell me you’re still open.”

The voice was rich and breathless and coated Aaron in a warmth that got his back up.

“Only for 3 more minutes and I’m not your…”

The sentence died in his throat when as he turned around, locked eyes with the most gorgeous colour he’d ever seen. It was blue and green and the calm of tropical oceans. Golden pale skin and hair, freckles thrown in the mix to remind the world this living breathing work of art was indeed human. Even his supposed flaws were perfection. Tall, with wide shoulders and tight jeans. Fuck.

Then Adonis widened his eyes in surprise and Aaron realized he was staring. Like a fucking muppet.

“Right what’s the issue?”

Adonis cleared his throat and stuffed his hands into his poncy leather jacket.

“I got a flat a ways up the road and my rental has a spare but no jack. Could I rent one or something?”

His accent was posh, but Aaron should have expected it with the flowered shirt the bloke was wearing. Aaron just sighed as he rubbed his neck, a nervous habit he never grew out of.

“Yeah shouldn’t be too much of a problem. Where’s the car?”

Aaron saw the stress slide out of the man’s demeanour. Watched his stance relax and yet somehow it made him seem more powerful. And somehow more attractive.

“About a 20 minute walk out of town. I drove through so I sprinted here hoping to catch you before you closed.”

Aaron glanced down at the leather loafers caked in mud. He couldn’t help but grin.

“Yeah give me two minutes.”

“Thanks…”

“Aaron.”

“Thanks Aaron. Robert.”

Normally this would be the point where they’d shake hands but they just stood there. Aaron with his fingers flexing on his hips and Robert with his still concealed in his pockets. Still sizing each other up. Aaron could feel the energy in the garage start to shift. Robert smiled and Aaron felt his stomach flutter.

They rode the 5 minute drive in Aaron’s car in total silence. Robert insisted he just needed the jack and didn’t want to be anymore trouble. Aaron just told him to get in as he threw a jack into his boot. It was getting dark and Aaron watched Robert hold his hands up to the heating vents, rubbing warmth back into them.

He had beautiful hands. Large, smooth, not hint of the calluses or dirt that covered Aaron’s own. He doubted Robert had ever done a hard days work in his pretty boy life. Aaron knew the sort. He’d go home with one on occasion. Teach them a few things. Never see them again.

Aaron pulled into the layby and let out a low whistle. The car was a dream, the latest Audi R8, Aaron had drooled over the car online many a time.

“Yeah she handles like a dream.”

“I bet.”

Aaron climbed out, popping his boot and pulling out the jack and a roadside light he’d need to see in the twilight.

“Aaron you don’t have to stay. I can change the flat. I don’t want to mess up your evening.”

Aaron just shrugged as he set up the light, crouching down to check out the state of the tire.

“Wouldn’t want to ruin that shirt you’re wearing now would we?”

“You don’t like my shirt?”

“I wouldn’t even buy curtains with that pattern.”

Robert tilted back his head and laughed. It was rich and inviting, the kind of laugh that was infectious. It made Aaron crave.

“No accounting for taste I guess eh? Then again we all can’t look fit in a pair of coveralls now can we.”

It wasn’t a question, Aaron realized, and it made him blush. So he just busied himself with the jack as Robert pulled the spare out. Aaron focused on the task, this would take him 15 minutes tops and then he could get on with his night.

“Thanks again for this Aaron. It’s been a shit day.”

Aaron just grunted a response as he loosened the nuts holding the wheel together. Great. Robert was a talker.

“First my deal falls through, then my phone dies and my tire goes flat. I swear you’re the best thing that’s happened to me today.”

Aaron looked up at him. Robert seemed to realize what he’d just said and looked down at his shoes.

“I mean, you being open, helping. Sorry if I’m keeping you away from a romantic evening with your girl.”

“I’m gay mate, and candles and flowers aren’t really my thing.”

He watched Robert smile softly at the ground.

“Cool. Yeah. Me neither.”

Aaron relaxed. He’s not exactly sure why he blurted out his homosexuality. Wasn’t any of Rob’s business to be sure. But at least he didn’t have to worry about throwing a punch in the next few minutes.

Robert was quiet after that and Aaron finished up quickly. He slid out the jack and wiped his hands on a rag he pulled from his pocket.

“All done.

Aaron avoided looking at Robert as he put everything away. He was anxious now. Robert had gotten his blood pumping and he needed an outlet. Time to get cleaned up and head into Hotten. Maybe he’d pick up a blonde, just for giggles.

Robert reached for his wallet, pulled out some bills and thrust them at Aaron.

“Forget it.”

“No Aaron, come on.”

“Call it karma or some shit. Didn’t take nothing.”

Robert sighed and put his money away. Then they were just standing there again. Just looking at each other. Why did they keep doing that? Aaron decided to end the standoff.

“Right. See yah.”

Aaron only made it two steps before he felt a hand on his arm twisting him around. He barely had time to breathe before Robert’s lips were on his and everything went hazy. Then fireworks exploded behind his eyes and intense heat radiated through him.

Robert’s big soft hands framed his face as Aaron grabbed for purchase on Robert’s leather jacket. Aaron angled his head, slid his tongue against Robert’s and turned the kiss fucking filthy. He was rewarded with Robert’s moan against his mouth as he moved them backwards, pressing Aaron against his car, slotting his leg between Aaron’s and pressing, fuck, right there.

Aaron slid his hands under Robert’s jacket, pulling his ridiculous shirt from his jeans. He felt Robert shudder when Aaron’s fingers finally clutched at the skin of his waist, tried to pull him closer. Aaron needed him closer.

Desperate for air he pulled away but Robert just kissed across his cheek, nibbled and licked at Aaron’s neck, pressed his thigh tighter into him. Aaron felt his coveralls being unzipped, felt it pushed off his shoulders. Robert sucked at Aaron’s collarbone and Aaron couldn’t contain the whimper it forced from his throat.

Robert pulled back, slid his nose along Aaron’s and whispered against his lips.

“I’m going to fall in love with you.”

Just then a light started off in the distance, a car approaching and Robert stepped back, his eyes glowing. Aaron didn’t know what to think, or say. He could feel panic thundering in his chest. He needed to get the fuck out of there. Cold now in just his long sleeved Henley, his coveralls slipping down his waist he opened his door, jumped in and threw it into drive.

He couldn’t deny himself. He glanced at Robert in his rear view mirror as he went. Robert was haloed by the light of the oncoming car, like a fucking angel. Arms crossed, standing tall and Aaron couldn’t see it but was sure there was smile on Robert’s handsome face.

**********

Three days later Aaron was certain pretty boy was gone for good. At first he thought he might show up at the garage. Aaron realized by the second day that wasn’t going to happen. Robert didn’t know his last name. Robert wasn’t from around here. Robert was gone and he should be damn happy about that fact. Aaron was, he really really was. Still didn’t stop him from being jumpy and bitchy and pissing everyone off around him.

Debbie finally kicked him out early, demanding he go for a drink and come back after the weekend in a better frame of mind.

“Cousin or not I will clock you with a wrench. A fucking big one.”

Mostly Aaron was embarrassed. Running away like a scared idiot. He must have misheard Robert. Who really says shit like that anyway? Aaron’s mind had been muddled with lust and want and yes, more, please. There was no way he’d heard Robert correctly. But then what had he actually said?

I’m going to fall the glove with you?

I’m going to ball in court for you?

Okay fine he’d said it. Robert had said it. And what gave him the fucking right to do that anyway? It was probably some weird kink bullshit. Take the dirty grease monkey for a fuck and have him be thankful for a bit of romance? See how the other half lived? Fuck Robert. Aaron didn’t need that crap.

He texted Adam on his way home, asked him to meet Aaron for a drink at their local. He needed a pint. He needed a shower. He needed to get laid.

He’d not gone out after his Robert experience, too wound up and honestly, a bit scared. Sadly though cold showers and his hand weren’t doing it. It didn’t help that he replayed the memory of Robert’s taste on his tongue before he came each time. He couldn’t sleep because the ghost of Robert’s hands still caressed his face. Robert popped into his mind constantly and suddenly, Aaron was instantly half hard and breathing heavy.

After his cold shower he pulled on his favourite black jumper and his nicest pair of jeans. He spent a little bit longer on his hair and trimmed his beard. He even put on the tiniest bit of the cologne his Mom had gotten him for Christmas. He usually didn’t bother but he needed to get lucky tonight. If smelling slightly of a ponce did the trick then so be it.

Adam texted to say he was already waiting so Aaron walked the few minutes to the Woolpack, thankful when he didn’t see his Mom behind the bar. She’d notice how “nice” he looked and be immediately suspicious. Mothers eh.

He smiled when he saw Adam with an extra pint on the table and a big grin on his face.

“There’s that ugly git I love. Where you been hiding mate?”

Aaron just shrugged and took a long sip of his drink. He could feel the tension in his body slowly slip from his shoulders.

“I’m not the one loved up under my girl’s thumb now am I?”

Adam just smirked at that. Aaron was truly happy for his friend. Vic was a dream and she thought the world of his best friend. Aaron gave it only a few more months before Adam was down on one knee. Fuck, that meant he’d have to wear a suit. Adam was worth it.

“Yeah well under something that is for sure.”

Adam wagged his eyebrows and Aaron laughed.

“But I hear you’ve been playing knight in shining overalls lately.”

“You what?”

“Vic told me you helped her brother with a flat on Valentine’s day. Wouldn’t take any money or anything either.”

Shit. Fuck. Shit.

“Robert is Robert Sugden?”

“Yeah mate. He moved to Hotten a few weeks ago. Vic’s over the moon to have him back, especially since Andy moved to Ireland. Anyway she said he was going on about you.”

Aaron gulped his beer and hoped the shake he felt in his hands wasn’t noticeable.

“I changed a bloke’s tire Adam, I’m not a fucking saint.”

“Yeah well he recently got divorced and he’s bisexual or something. Don’t be surprised if Vic starts throwing you two together.”

Shit. Fuck. SHIT.

Adam seemed to notice the terror in Aaron’s eyes as he laughed at his friend’s discomfort.

“Don’t worry mate, I told Vic you ain’t the settling down type. You know how ladies get, all that romance and shit. Not your fault if her brother thinks you’re fit.”

“Did he say that?”

Aaron wanted to kick himself the moment the words were out of his mouth. Adam just gave him a curious look.

“He might have. Darts?”

Aaron was thankful for the reprieve as they played darts and just generally goofed around. Another pint and Aaron was feeling fully relaxed. Ready to continue his night alone. Well hopefully not for too long anyway.

When he saw Vic heading their way from the back he gave Adam a quick half hug and made his way to the door.

“Aaron wait!”

Thank God for Adam, who grabbed Vic’s hand and pulled her to his side.

“Leave him be hon, he’s heading out on the pull. Good luck mate!”

Aaron waved goodbye and tried to ignore the disappointed look on Vic’s face and how odd it made him feel.

**********

Two hours later and Aaron was regretting the cologne and the cab fare. Tonight was just not turning out like he expected. He’d never had any trouble picking up a man of his choosing when he came here, the only gay bar in Hotten he could stand. He was by no means picky, though he veered away from the skinny, scrawny type. No he liked a man he could shove around a little. A man that Aaron didn’t have to worry about breaking. He liked rough and tumble, he liked hard and fast and he liked a man built to give and take it.

There were no shortage of that tonight but just nothing that seemed worth the trouble. They aren't tall enough. They had too much scruff. Their hair was too dark. One guy approached him that could have been Adam’s twin and he sent him packing right away.

He was nursing his third pint already when he saw him. Tall, blonde, tight jeans. He would do. Oh yes he would do just fine. He caught the man’s eye and ran his gaze down the length of him, making his meaning clear. That got him a smile. Aaron was about to motion to the pint in front of him, signal him over for a drink. If Aaron was lucky this one wouldn’t require too much conversation.

Then the hair on the back of his neck stood up and he knew. He hated that he was so certain but he was. Robert was here.

He turned back towards the bar just as a body slid onto the stool to his left. He saw the deep blue of Robert’s shirt out of the corner of his eye. Felt the heat of Robert’s body coming in waves across the space between them. Aaron kept his eyes focused down on his drink.

“Aaron.”

Robert said his name like a caress that slid down Aaron’s body. It was thrilling, how his voice had such an affect on him. Still it pissed Aaron off.

“Robert.”

He finished up his pint, slid the glass away and about to head off when he felt a hand on his forearm. He finally glanced up and met Robert’s eyes.

“One drink eh? If you want to run away again after that I can point you towards all the emergency exits.”

Aaron felt his lips twitch up at Robert’s teasing tone.

“I didn’t run away.”

“No of course not.”

“I had things to do.”

“Do you have things to do now?”

Aaron sighed.

“One drink, and only because you’re buying.”

That got him the full force of Robert’s smile and if he hadn’t been sitting his knees would have buckled. He watched Robert motion to the bartender for two pints and once again Aaron was fascinated by those hands. It was hard not to be now that he knew what they felt like on his skin. Knew what those hands could make him feel.

Their glasses were placed in front of them. Aaron watched Rob take a sip and then lick his lips. Robert caught his eye and gave him a wink. Cheeky git.

“So are you stalking me now Robert?”

Rob smiled as he twisted so he was facing Aaron, his foot hooking onto Aaron’s stool.

“Maybe it’s just coincidence that I showed up at your favourite bar while you’re here. On. The. Pull.”

“Did Vic text you?”

“Adam actually.”

“Fucker.”

Robert burst out laughing and Aaron couldn’t help but join him.

**********

Aaron wasn’t sure how many drinks in he was at this point but he really didn’t care. He felt good, really fucking good. Somehow in the last while they’d shared their love of cars and Top Gear. They shared horror stories of bad dates and even worse sexual encounters. They bonded over their mutual dislike of Ross Barton who Robert remembered from his youth. Aaron was aghast to know Robert hadn’t seen one Rocky movie.

At some point Aaron had turned in his stool so they were sitting with their legs almost entwined. Robert kept finding ways to touch Aaron. A caress of his arm on the bar. A pat on his thigh to prove a point. At one point Robert had even run his thumb over Aaron’s cheek claiming there was a piece of lint clinging there. Aaron didn’t believe it for a second. He honestly didn’t care either.

Robert Sugden’s hands on him felt like the most natural thing in the world.

Being with Robert felt natural too. It felt comfortable but exciting. He liked how he already could tell when Robert was exaggerating a story by the lift of his eyebrows. He liked how their sarcastic banter was effortless. He liked how his body burned wherever Robert touched him. What he didn’t like was how it still made him all so wary, made him feel almost skittish. He was used to being in control. He needed to do something to get the upper hand back.

“So you live around here Robert?”

Aaron watched Robert’s eyes widen slightly at the obvious meaning behind the words. Then those lips tilted and his eyes went dark.

“I have a flat just a few minutes from here.”

Aaron bit his lip, happy to see Robert’s eyes zone in on his mouth, watched that gaze go hazy. Perfect. Aaron leaned forward into Robert’s space, sliding his hands onto Robert’s jean clad thighs, giving them a slight squeeze. He licked his lips, watched Robert do the same.

“So?”

Aaron let the word slip softly, slowly from his mouth.

“Aaron it’s not that I don’t want to because I do, God I do…”

Aaron didn’t let him finish the sentence.

“Right well, that’s me then.”

Robert was clearly stunned because Aaron was able to untangle himself from their weird pseudo embrace without any effort. He raised his hand to the bartender in thanks and headed out the door.

He was halfway down the street when he realized he’d forgotten his jacket.

“Aaron wait! Please wait!”

Aaron stopped, fisted his hands in his pocket. He turned to see Robert jogging towards him, Aaron’s signature black puffy coat in his hands. He stopped in front of him, barely winded, eyes anxious.

Here they were again. Just looking at each other.

Robert shoved the jacket at Aaron.

“Here.”

Aaron took it. Pulled it on.

“Cheers mate.”

He wanted to run now, because whatever this was confused the fuck out of him and he didn’t have the space for it. He barely had room in his brain for life as it was before Robert Sugden had shown up.

He went to turn again but Robert stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.

“Would you stop running away from me?”

Aaron whirled around.

“I’m not running from anything.”

“You sure about that?”

“At least I’m not giving out mixed signals.”

“Now that’s a laugh, cause you fucking are.”

Aaron narrowed his eyes at Robert and crossed his arms over his chest. He had no doubt he looked just like his mother did right before she was about to give him a set down.

“Fuck Robert what do you want from me? I just offered you a pretty good night and you turned it down.”

“Because I like you Aaron.”

“Right. Makes perfect sense.”

“No I really like you Aaron. A lot.”

“You don’t even know me.”

“I know enough.”

The sincerity in Robert’s face left Aaron a little breathless. Because Robert didn't know him. Didn’t know what a fuck up he was, is. Didn’t know about the scars on his chest and arms. Didn’t know about the anger and pain Aaron fights on a daily basis to just make it through.

“You don’t know shit Robert.”

“I know I’m going to fall in love with you.”

Aaron lunged forward, grabbing Robert by the front of his jacket. Not enough to hurt him, just enough to make his point known.

“You can’t say crap like that to me Robert.”

Robert just smiled at him softly, placed his hands over Aaron’s and squeezed.

“I can if it’s the truth.”

Something in Aaron snapped and he pulled Robert in. The moment his lips claimed Robert’s his mind went blissfully blank of confusion, of everything. All he could do was feel, taste, take. He’d meant it to be bruising, he wanted to show Robert what he was capable of. Wanted to show Robert who he was messing with.

But Robert was sliding his hands around Aaron’s waist and sucking Aaron’s tongue into his mouth. Aaron’s hands somehow wound their way up Robert’s chest and into his hair. The softness he found there soothed him, grounded him. It became tender with hints of sweet, Robert showing Aaron what it could be between them. Cherishing. Giving. Love.

Aaron couldn’t have pulled away if he wanted to. It was addictive, Robert’s mouth, Robert’s hands. The soft way he moaned Aaron’s name against his lips. The way he gave everything to Aaron. Laid it at his feet like a fucking offering to an altar.

Robert nipped at his lips now. Feather light kisses as he moved to cradle Aaron’s face, rubbing his thumbs against his cheeks. Finally pulling back when they both felt the wetness on Aaron’s cheeks. Both realizing at the same time that Aaron was crying.

Aaron was frozen, unable to open his eyes and see Robert standing there. He didn’t want his pity. He didn’t want any of this. But when he opened his eyes it would be over and he didn’t want that either. Not yet.

He felt Robert press his forehead to Aaron’s. Those soft and beautiful hands still caressed him, still wiped away silent tears that just would not stop.

“Aaron?”

It was a whisper. It was his name. It was a crash back to reality.

He opened his eyes and let himself look into Robert’s, just for a moment. Let himself lose who he was, who he’d always be, in the depths of them. In the honesty shining from them.

Then he closed his eyes and stepped back.

“I’m not made for this Robert. Not with you. Not with anyone.”

Robert moved to reach for him again but halted as Aaron raised his hands to hold him off.

“How can you say that Aaron, especially after that?”

“Because you’ve known me for five minutes, I’ve been stuck with me my whole life. Trust me on this.”

“You’re afraid.”

Aaron’s sucked in a breath, nodding his head. He hated admitting it but he owed Robert that much.

“Why are you so scared of me Aaron?”

He just shook his head.

“Its me I’m frightened of Robert, not you.”

With that he turned and walked away. Half grateful and half heartbroken when Robert didn’t follow him.

**********

The next few days it took everything Aaron had to simply get out of bed in the morning. He’d done this song and dance before. He called his counsellor, made an extra appointment for the week. He spent his day off lounging in bed, staring up at the ceiling, lost in his thoughts and ignoring texts from Adam, his Mom. From Vic.

He hated when they worried about him. Hated that he gave them reasons to worry. But they knew him well enough by now to know that some days he needed to cocoon. His counsellor called it “self care”. Aaron called it pathetic. But it helped a bit. He even managed to do some laundry and clean his bathroom. Small tasks be could accomplish in life, something to make him feel less useless.

He missed him. He hated Robert for that. He’d barely spent six hours in the man’s company but he’d wormed in somehow. What good were Aaron’s defences if a pretty boy with bad fashion sense could get through that easily?

Back at work Cain, Debbie and hell even Ross gave him a wide berth. He wasn’t moody, just quiet. He did his work. Cleaned up. Went home.

His sessions with his counsellor helped. She thought the whole Robert experience had been a good thing. Her reasoning being that he needed to let people in, needed to allow himself to be vulnerable. But she didn’t get it. How could she?

He learned young how to survive and though he was getting better he was still himself. He’d realized years ago that some things he just had to accept and live with. Accept that there were only snippets of happiness he was allowed.

**********

He finally responded to his Mom and promised to come to the Woolpack after work for a pint and a meal with her. She loved him, did her best by him and he wanted to show her he was okay. Needed to appease the guilt that was always shining in her eyes when he was like this.

She wrapped him in a hug the moment she spotted him. Warm and soothing, things one never would associate with Chas Dingle the woman. But this was all Chas Dingle, Aaron’s Mom.

She palmed his cheek.

“Okay love?”

“Yeah Mom. Promise.”

He sat at the bar, nodded at Zak and Cain sitting across the way. He took off his jacket but pushed up the sleeves of his jumper. He didn’t like showing his scars but he wanted his Mom to see, without technically showing her, that he'd not hurt himself. It’s been years but she still worried. He couldn’t blame her.

She gave him a pint and amused him with idle chit chat between helping customers and running orders to Marlon. It was a nice way to spend the evening all in all. He pretended not to notice when Marlon brought out his burger with twice the normal helping of chips.

His family, always there, supporting him in their own way. He ate his meal and let loving looks from his mother comfort him.

“Another pint love?”

“Thanks but no. I’m knackered. Going to go fall into bed.”

Chas reached forward and patted his hand.

“I love you my beautiful boy.”

He smiled at her, how could he not?

“I know, me too.”

He had his jacket zipped up when Vic and Adam made their way inside. As soon as Vic spotted him she frowned, the worry clear across her face. Robert must have said something to her. He didn’t like how exposed it made him feel.

Adam was Adam, always beaming at his best mate. He wrapped him in a hug.

“Want to have a pint with us?”

“Sorry mate, just heading home. Tomorrow yeah?”

That got him a megawatt Barton smile and a soft punch to the shoulder.

“Yeah mate, perfect.”

Aaron headed for the door, which was suddenly blocked by the tall blonde who was ripping Aaron’s world to shreds. Surprisingly Robert gave him a soft smile as he stepped out of the way.

“Hiya Aaron.”

The way Robert said his name, he’d grown to love that sound. But some things just weren’t meant to be his.

“Rob.”

Then he nodded his head and walked away, the only thing he really was good at.

**********

At the advice of his counsellor Aaron decided to take up running again. Physical activity was a good release and it gave him time in his head without allowing him to get lost in it. It felt good to sweat. It felt good to leave it all at his front door and just focus on the steps and his breathing.

It’d been three weeks since his encounter with Robert and he felt like himself again. Actually he felt better than before. Maybe it was the extra sessions, maybe it was the running. Maybe it was the handful of times he’d seen Robert in the village.

They hadn’t spoken. A head nod, a soft smile thrown his way. If Aaron was honest with himself he didn’t understand why Robert wasn’t running away himself after their encounter. After Aaron had kissed him like it meant something and then cried like an idiot.

He joked around at work again, still his gruff grumpy self however, that would never change. He could see the collective sigh of relief of those around him. He couldn’t help but feel guilty about that. Hated he was so hard to love.

He’d had dinner again with his Mom. He’d had beers and played video games with Adam. He’d even suggest they go a run together sometime. Adam just laughed and slapped the table like Aaron had told a hysterical joke.

He was heading to the Woolpack now, meeting Adam for a pint. Victoria had plans that evening and Adam was always a bit of a lost puppy without her.

He walked in, waved at Charity behind the bar and snagged the booth. He was taking his jacket off when his phone beeped at him. Seemed Vic had come down with the flu suddenly and Adam had to bail to look after her. Aaron was disappointed but since he didn’t have to deal with any vomit he figured he’d come out the winner.

A night by himself surrounded by people didn’t sound too bad. Then Robert walked in. Because of course he did.

They locked eyes across the room and Aaron loved how Robert’s eyes got soft whenever they caught sight of him. He didn’t know why they did but it made him feel special. He jerked his chin for Robert to join him. It was time to lay it to rest, whatever it was.

Robert slid into the booth across from Aaron. Charity placed two pints in front of them.

“Want grub tonight boys?”

Rob raised an eyebrow at Aaron. Aaron smiled at him and Robert beamed in response.

“Just a cheese burger for me please Charity.”

Aaron wasn’t very adventurous when it came to his food.

Robert requested the same and Charity floated away in a cloud of big hair and too much perfume.

A wave of déjà by swept through Aaron as he looked at Robert whose eyes looked deep into his own. How did they always end up here? Robert cleared his throat and ran those gorgeous fingers over the sides of his glass.

“Was supposed to take Vic for dinner in Hotten but she came down with something.”

“Yeah Adam was supposed to meet me but Vic and all.”

“He’s in for it. She is a horrible patient.”

Aaron smiled at that. The quiet overtook them again. It was comfortable, Robert not demanding anything from him. Seemingly happy to just be in Aaron’s presence. Still Aaron wanted to clear the air.

“Look Robert I owe you an apology.”

Robert looked up from his pint.

“You really don’t Aaron.”

“I do. I’m sure you can tell by now but I’m a complete mess. Always have been. But you’re a good guy, I’d like us to be mates.”

Aaron couldn’t help but notice the tinge of sadness in Robert’s eyes but he covered it quickly with a smirk.

“You should be so lucky Dingle.”

Marlon showed up then with their food. He glanced between the men and raised his eyebrows at Aaron. He just rolled his eyes and hoped Robert hadn’t noticed. Alone once again Aaron decided to go for it, this friends thing.

“So, bisexual eh? How does that work?”

Robert’s booming laugh in response was like music in Aaron’s ears.

**********

It has been the best night Aaron had had in weeks. Well since the last night he’d spent in Robert’s company. Drinks, food, darts and laughter that didn’t seem to stop. Robert was such a sarcastic shit, talking smack during every round. He was a horrible winner and an even worse loser.

“You know if I was sober there is no way you would have beat me.”

Robert pouted and Aaron found it adorable. And fucking sexy.

“I’ve had just as much as you mate, if not more. You’re lucky you got one game over on me.”

Robert just scoffed and waved those beautiful hands in an exaggerated gesture.

“Sorry boys, time to call it a night.”

Aaron was surprised at Charity’s words. The place had emptied of everyone else and it was past closing time. How has he not noticed that?

“You need a hand Charity?”

She gave Aaron one of her sneaky smiles.

“If I thought you’d be of any use to me I’d say yes. As it is good luck stumbling home.”

Robert giggled at that. He actually giggled and covered his mouth with his hand. Something contracted around Aaron’s heart. Maybe it was the alcohol still singing in his veins but for once it didn’t scare him. It made him breathless.

Robert and Aaron bundled themselves up and headed out the door, bumping shoulders and laughing at absolutely nothing.

“How are you getting home?”

At Aaron’s words Robert frowned.

“You know that is a good question. Didn’t plan on getting so messy.”

Aaron kicked his feet. This was probably a bad idea, but he couldn’t resist. He didn’t want this joy filling his chest to go away.

“I have an apartment at The Mill. You’re welcome to my couch.”

Robert looked intensely into Aaron’s eyes. Searched for something and he seemed to find it.

“Yeah?”

Aaron sighed his response.

“Yeah.”

*****

Their short walk was done in silence. The cold had a sobering effect on Aaron. He wasn’t sure what he was doing but for once he didn’t want to analyze his every move. He just wanted to be.

He fumbled a bit with his keys. Inside he kicked off his shoes, Robert hung up his coat. As Robert looked around Aaron was glad his recent mindset had his place looking immaculate. When Robert’s eyes landed on Aaron’s heavy bag hanging in the corner he smiled.

“Why am I not surprised?”

Aaron grinned.

“I know, bit cliche for a Rocky fan but I actually use it.”

Robert just looked at him, those blue green orbs sucking Aaron in. For once he didn’t fight it. He stepped forward, slid his hands up Robert’s chest to rest on the nape of his neck. His fingers content to play with the soft hair he found there.

“Aaron we don’t have to…”

Aaron pulled slightly on Robert’s hair to shut him up. Robert’s hands found their rightful place on Aaron’s hips, his fingers gripping him tightly. It sent a shiver up Aaron’s back. Aaron searched Robert’s face. Looking for something, a sign to prove this whole thing was a bad idea. But of course there wasn’t one. Robert was perfect.

“Robert?”

It came out breathy, filled with the want that Aaron felt overtaking him.

“Yes Aaron?”

Robert’s fingers flexed on Aaron’s hips as he lifted his head up, rubbed his nose along Robert’s. He could feel Robert’s warm breath against his lips. He was waiting patiently for Aaron to make the final move. Giving Aaron all the power, seemed to know that Aaron needed that from him.

Aaron whispered against Robert’s lips.

“I’m going to fall in love with you.”

Then he surged forward and for once chased the dream he’d always denied himself.

**********

Aaron didn’t have the power for long, hadn’t expected to really. He captured Robert’s gasp in his own mouth, felt the shudder that travelled up Robert’s spine on his fingertips. Still Robert recovered quickly, letting out deep moan the moment their tongues swept together. His hands on Aaron’s hips swinging him around, pushing him back into the wall. Somewhere something crashed to the floor, a small sound drowned out by the blood rushing in Aaron’s ears. The world could burn down around them and Aaron wouldn’t notice, wouldn’t be able to bring himself to care.

Aaron let Robert continue the assault of tongue and teeth, let his fingers trail down to undo the buttons on Robert’s shirt. His hands were shaking slightly. It was worth the effort when he finally felt Robert’s soft skin and hard muscle under his hands. Worth it to feel Robert’s breath hitch as Aaron stroked his skin.

He was so lost in the feel of it that he let Robert slide his hands under his jumper, let him bring Aaron’s arms up and rip it over his head. Didn’t have time to think about his scars before they were pressed chest to chest. Open mouth kisses that never ended, melded into each other, oxygen be damned.

Aaron fisted his hands in Robert’s hair. Pulled his head down where he wanted him, biting at that lower lip that had haunted his dreams. Robert clearly liked it just as much, snaking his hands on Aaron’s ass, squeezing through the denim. He hauled Aaron closer, something Aaron hadn’t thought was possible. It was a heady feeling, being surrounded by Robert, being possessed by him.

How long they stayed like that he’d never be able to tell. It was endless but not enough. He didn’t know if enough and Robert could ever be used in the same sentence.

He was so hard it was almost painful. The tightness of his fly and the rhythmic thrust of Robert’s hips against his, aching and satisfying at the same damn time. He couldn’t take it anymore or he was going to spill in his jeans like a ruddy teenager.

He moved his hands to Robert’s belt, flicking it opened and reaching inside, desperate to feel that weight in his hand. At the first touch Robert pulled his lips from Aaron, panting and thrusting, shameless in his desire. Shameless for Aaron.

Aaron rubbed his thumb over the slit, loved how it made Robert’s forehead fall against his own. Loved the way Robert gasped for him.

“Aaron. Fuck, Aaron you got to stop or…”

He didn’t let him finish. He removed his hand and kissed him again. Pushed Robert forward, lead him on an awkward trek to his bedroom. He wanted the weight of Robert to sink into him, to hold him down. He wanted Robert to cover all his dark with that golden skin.

Finally they fell to the bed, nothing but their thin boxer briefs separating them. Aaron relished in how perfectly Robert fit between his legs. Loved the feel of Robert’s lips as the moved across his chest, down over his stomach.

It wasn’t until Robert was tugging his briefs down Aaron’s legs, looking up at him with dark hooded eyes that Aaron suddenly felt self conscious. It didn’t last long because suddenly Robert’s breath was on his dick. He felt those beautiful fingers press into his hips.

“Fuck you’re gorgeous.”

With those words Robert took Aaron into his mouth, so far down that Aaron arched off the bed. The heat was overwhelming as Robert traced his tongue over Aaron, hummed his appreciation into his skin. He licked at the head, ran his hand up to to tease and pinch at Aaron’s nipples. He was too close to the edge, Aaron couldn’t fall, not without Robert.

“Rob, please. I need…”

Aaron lost Robert’s mouth as he nuzzled his hip.

“Tell me what you want Aaron. Let me give it to you.”

God was this man even real?

Aaron reached into his bedside drawer, grasping the lube and a string of condoms in one hand. He dropped them at his hip, ran his hand through Robert’s hair.

Robert smiled, Aaron’s message had been received. Because from the moment they’d met they’d been heading here. Aaron could try to deny it but the truth always won out. He’d never been able to escape it before, why should now be any different?

Rob crawled back up Aaron’s body, dropping open mouthed kisses against skin as he went. He laid between Aaron’s thighs once more, grinding down as he nipped at the stubble on Aaron’s chin. Aaron snaked his hands to remove the annoying article of clothing in their way. He sat up to shove them down, Robert kicking his legs when they got stuck halfway. It caused Aaron to laugh, something he’d never done in bed before. Robert’s sheepish grin only made him laugh more.

Naked now Robert reached for the lube and the laughter died on his Aaron’s lips. The air was heavy and Aaron almost whimpered at the first press of Robert’s finger against him. The pressure, the slickness and the slight burn had him grasping for Robert again.

He kissed him sloppy, unable to coordinate his body as Robert slid another finger in. Scissored his movements, hooked and pressed on Aaron’s prostate. He felt teeth on his neck, and the pressure building in his body.

“Now Robert.”

He didn’t even recognize his own voice. It was so wanton and desperate, all semblance of control or facade stripped from him by those hands.

Robert kissed him again before sitting back on his knees. Aaron was sure he’d never seen anything sexier than Robert rolling the condom over his length, looking up at Aaron with a mixture of determination and awe.

Aaron lifted his hips, his plea for Robert to hurry the fuck up. Then Robert was right there, sliding in with one powerful and steady stroke. He bottomed out and then stopped, letting Aaron get used to the feeling of being so full, so owned. Aaron fisted the sheets, watching Robert’s face. His beautiful eyes were closed but the bliss he felt shone through his face, made Aaron want to weep. What had Aaron ever done to deserve this?

Robert’s eyes finally opened and as soon as they locked with Aaron’s his hips started to move. Aaron felt like he was vibrating, every slide like lightning through his body. It’d never felt like this before, he didn’t know that it could be like this with anyone.

Robert leaned forward, braced on his arms, dragged his tongue on Aaron’s neck. The pace was getting frantic, Aaron could feel himself leaking between their joined bodies. Could feel the build go higher than he knew he could go.

Robert gasped into his ear, words falling from his lips.

“You feel unbelievable. It’s never been this good, how can you feel this good? Fuck, Aaron.”

He had no words to respond, couldn’t find his voice. Aaron grabbed for Robert, grasping his hands across his shoulder, wrapping his legs around him. The angle changed and they both moaned.

Aaron knew he was close, knew the peak had to be within reach, he’d never chased so desperately before. He felt Robert tremble as they moved faster still.

He grasped at Robert’s neck, bringing their lips together. It was barely a kiss, just breathing against each other’s mouths. Needing oxygen. Needing release.

Aaron moved to kiss Robert’s neck, bit hard at the soft skin against his lips. Robert groaned. Aaron couldn’t help himself, couldn’t stop the words that tumbled out of his mouth.

“I love you.”

Then his world went crystal clear. He could feel every part of his body that touched Robert’s. He heard Robert cry out his name. He felt the wetness on his stomach. Felt like he was falling and flying and then everything went white behind his eyes.

It took Aaron a while to come down, to realize Robert had pulled out. That the panting mass beside him was even there at all. He reached out his hand, finding Robert’s and lacing their fingers together. His heart slowed but he could barely keep his eyes open. He felt a fabric wipe across his belly and opened his eyes to Robert cleaning him up. Then he was pulling the comforter over them both, pulling Aaron onto his chest, holding him close.

Aaron knew there was so much to say. So much to figure out. Knew that everything in his world, his life, had just changed. But he was relaxed, he was sated and he was happy. That was enough for now.

He was sliding into sleep when he felt lips press to his head and the words rumbling from Robert’s lips.

“I’m going to love you for the rest of my life.”

**********

It wouldn’t always be easy, nothing for Aaron ever was. They’d argue and he’d close off. They learned to communicate, both men always willing to fight for the other. For Aaron that meant sometimes fighting against himself.

But slowly the love Aaron felt for Robert, from Robert, let him share what he felt were his darkest and ugliest parts. They both cried and held each other but Aaron felt so much lighter afterwards. Felt truly seen and understood for the first time in his life.

The people in their lives didn’t always understand it but it didn’t mean they didn’t envy it. The way the two men were always touching, always looking for the other, always so damn in love. Polar opposites in so many ways but identical in all the ones that truly mattered.

There were the trials of moving in together. Of taking in Aaron’s sister Liv when her Mom found her too much to handle. There were the Dingles being, well, Dingles.

But they came out the other side, always. Sometimes a little battered and bruised but always stronger. Always together.

They got married twice. Once as a commitment to each other surrounded by the people who loved them. The next time a few years later when it was legal, no less romantic just because it was in a registry office.

They made a home that Robert filled with beauty and richness, that Aaron filled with comfort and warmth.

There were lazy Sundays and mad rush work days. There was the agony of finding a surrogate, waiting and worrying. Then bringing their son home, the word having a new meaning because they were a family now.

Vacations filled with sunburns and fun fairs. Anniversary dinners where Aaron would wear a suit just to enjoy the way his husband would look at him. Nights at the Woolpack surrounded by the people who loved them, just the way they were.

Football games and bruised knees. Laughter and teenage angst. So much teenage angst. Pride in what they built together, the love they kept on making.

**********

As Aaron hung up the phone he shuffled across the bed, snuggled into Robert who was leaning against the headboard. Tablet in hand and reading glasses perched on his nose. Aaron was amazed at how attractive Robert was, even after all this time. Robert looked down into Aaron’s eyes, his gaze growing soft as he removed his glasses, placed them on the bedside table.

“And how is your son doing then?”

Aaron scoffed at their old joke.

“Your son is doing quite well actually. He met someone.”

Robert’s hand stopped running through Aaron’s hair, salt and pepper now but no less curly.

“Did he now? What’d he say?”

Aaron grabbed Robert’s hand, linked their fingers together to lay on Robert’s chest.

“Met her at his local. Said the moment he laid eyes on her he knew she was the one. I guess you could say he’s his father’s son?”

Robert quirked his eyebrow.

“God, what did he do?”

Aaron laughed, was actually excited to tell his husband this part.

“Seems he walked right up to her and said…”

“Did that little shit steal my line?!”

Aaron laughed again and gazed into Robert’s eyes, they were dancing and joyful. He reached up to cup his cheek.

“To be fair Rob, it’s a damn good line.”

“Of course it is, when it’s true.”

Aaron couldn’t resist, leaned up to press a soft kiss to his husband's lips. That familiar thrill ran up his spine, even now, even still.

He pressed his face into Robert’s neck and sighed.

“Well Aaron don’t leave me in suspense. Did it work?”

“He’s bringing her round for dinner next Sunday.”

Robert sighed but Aaron could hear the smile in his voice.

“That’s my boy.”


End file.
